Inherited customs and social traditions in Yemen impose a stricter lifestyle on women throughout the country, especially in remote tribal and rural areas. These traditions and customs vary according to the region, with similarities in some social customs and variances in many of them, according to each province or part of the country.
In Al-Baidha Governorate, located southeast of the capital, Sana'a, there are many traditions that society is rigorous about practicing it, especially those related to women, which are not limited to the customs that they have to follow in their daily lives. Women are surrounded by strict restrictions derived from the culture of “shame” in many aspects, especially in how women community members have to be abided by during various social occasions that reach to the level of happy occasions and celebrations, such as the “wedding” occasion and its extensive traditions and duties.
In addition to being a cheerful occasion that society competes to celebrate and show off based on its traditions and customs that it has always adhered to, it has become an excruciating suffering that many “brides” are enduring, as Khuyut journalist monitored from Rada'a, the largest and most important province of Al-Baidha Governorate.
Twenty-year-old Shaima Mohammad said in her statement to Khuyut: “Wedding ceremonials extend over many days, and this requires that the women at each wedding day, shall wear some new clothes which are not worn before in any previous wedding. Otherwise, we will face the mockery of the girls who scoff if they noticed one of women wearing the same dress on every occasion.” This may be what forces many women not to attending many of these events because of their inability to buy new clothes for each occasion.”
For her part, Umm Mohammad, a lady in her thirties, told Khuyut, that: “We are forced to borrow household utensils from all our neighbors and relatives, because our kitchenware will not be sufficient or enough to serve the meals of the wedding invitees, and we cannot then buy new utensils that meet the needs of the wedding buffet.” Her neighbor, Hanadi Ali added that: “We work very hard to be courteous to the bride family, as we - the relatives - are required to attend all the ceremonies, and if we are unable to attend any day, we may be accused of deliberately avoided the participation in wedding celebrations”
“We are very tired of being courteous to the families whenever one of our girls gets married, as we - the relatives - are required to attend all the marriage ceremonies and rituals that extend for days, and if one of us is unable to attend one day for any circumstance, the family may accuse her of neglecting to perform her family duty or that she deliberately did not attend.”
These series of celebrations during the period and days of the wedding “marathon” constitutes an inevitable distress that many women go through as a result of its requirements and high costs, which some cannot deal with on the one hand, or clashing with the position of condemnation and accusation of negligence of the society that boasts of such expensive and strenuous customs, on the other hand.
For her part, the social worker, Huda Masood, confirmed to “Khuyut” that most of the customs and traditions that society practices or reproduces are concentrated on women and control everything related to their life, education, and social interaction, which exposes women to violations, robbing their rights, and assaulting them, and their persecution on such occasions at the psychological, social and legal levels. In addition, the financial burden prerequisite to participate in “wedding” events constitute a load that many women cannot bear. Such traditional obligations force may women to resort to difficult and expensive solutions; either to borrow from others or sell property, while those who cannot afford such expensive customs and traditions, they become vulnerable to ridicule and discrimination by society.
"Khuyut" explored these daily celebrations ritual among most families, which start from Monday, where they are called that day: "The Day of the Game", in which the single girls meet with the bride to celebrate the bid of celibacy, and then the bride launch the "wedding" routines with a series of customs and traditions, with various and different names and practices according to every day until the day of the "wedding" reaches.
The Game Day (Tiglay)
On the day of the "game", the bride wears regular clothes, where her face and body are covered with the remains of the " Tiglay" which is a term that refers to the natural/herbal cosmetics that cover her face, her full body and her skin for the months before her wedding.
Al Qahatt Day
On Tuesday, which follows the day of the "game", comes, the bride got rid of the remains of "cosmetics" and prepares for this day with the coming of "hairdressers" to her home to beautify her. On this day, the single girls who have not yet been married, married women, and children take attend the bride's home to celebrate it. The activities of this day begin from three in the afternoon until the evening, in which milk tea is served to women guests, after which the attendees leave to their homes to change their clothes and return again at night.
Festive Evening Dinner
On the night of (Al Qahatt), the family of the bride has to prepare dinner, which is required to be: "porridge and zaom" along with some types of vegetables, such as: cabbage which is locally called: “kopesh”, as most women come to eat this popular meal, especially pregnant women, most of whom crave this meal. After the women have their dinner, the bride is celebrated again as she wears another golden dress.
Bride's engraving day
On Wednesday, it is time for the “naqasha”, or the tattoo engraver, the woman who is good at drawing henna designs on the bride’s body with black dye, to attend to the bride's house and she will finish the engraving in the afternoon. The bride then wears a dress made of Yemeni heritage fabric, covers her hands with bags, and is escorted to the women, most of whom, along with the family, wear all kinds of Yemeni heritage.
This day is known as the party day; Because it is key celebration on this day, cakes and soft drinks or juices are distributed, and the ceremony ends in the evening.
“Al Hanaqa” or denotation gifts on the wedding day
On this day, the bride begins preparing for it from the morning until sunset, when she wears a white wedding dress and no one is present except family members, relatives, and neighbors. Then, the bride attends the women party in the wedding hall in the evening prayer and spend her time photographing memorial shots with her father, brothers, uncles, and maternal uncles.
This day includes what is called “Hannaqa,” which is a term refers to: the money that is given to the bride, as one of her relatives at that time collects gifts and “Hannaqa” or denotations from the attendees, and each one gives her what she can, while saying loudly for example: “Nawal, the mother of your friend Amal.” donated five thousand riyals to you, please accept it,” and so on, until all attendees took turns.
(Al-Shawaa) The relatives who accompany the bride
(Al-Shawa'a) comes to accompany the bride who is covered with the white "Rada'iya" shutter decorated with a red and black patterns, and take her to her husband's house with her clothes and gifts that she had prepared the previous night in several bags. “Al-Shawa’a” is a term given to a group of men from the groom’s family who drive their cars to pick up their son’s bride from her family’s home.
Before she leaves, the father holds the bride's hand and takes it to the groom's mother to entrust her with his daughter's trust and hold her responsible.
When the bride arrives at her husband’s house, she enters the house holding the “Jambiya” in her hand. The well-known Yemeni dagger worn by bride's father; a traditional practice for protection from demons, as is it believed, whereas the women of the groom’s family sprinkle water and salt on the bride’s bags and on some of her body to protect her from envy and the evil eye, as is thought.
Congratulating the bride
After the bride rests for two days in her husband’s house, on Sunday, mature women - excluding single women - come from different neighborhood areas to congratulate her, and she wears the white dress again, because on the wedding day only her relatives and neighbors saw her in it. Starting from Sunday until the fifteenth day, the groom’s family receives women guests daily without getting bored or tired. They sing and celebrate their bride, and she in turn wears a new dress every day unlike dresses from the day before. Some of them she got from her husband, and others from her father.
Well-wishers' drink (Molaflaf)
The congratulating women bring with them every day different types of drinks; Tea with milk, juice, peel, and Molaflaf, which is a drink known to the residents of Rada'a, as it contains many types of Levantine beans, raisins, and various nuts, in addition to ginger, cardamom, and Arabica coffee.
The groom's family only has to prepare cups and plates to be served during the session, and those who attend pour the drink that each one of them has prepared.
On the eighth and fifteenth days
These two days are the most important throughout the two weeks of wedding celebrations, as the eighth day and the fifteenth day are characterized by the presence of a larger number of gusts, and the bride wears her most luxurious dresses on these two days. As for the day before the fifteenth day, she renews the engraving on her body with another “naqsha” brought by the groom’s family. .
The Shokma days
After the end of the fifteen days in her husband’s house, the bride goes to visit her family upon their invitation to her and all of her husband’s family, male and female, to make a sacrifice for lunch for three days in a row, and they celebrate the bride again, with their neighbors and all relatives and friends sharing in the joy throughout the days of “Shokma.” After she spent the "Shokma" in her family's home, and then the bride goes to the homes of relatives, including paternal uncles (father's brothers) and maternal uncles (mother's brothers).
With the end of the “Shokma” days, the rituals and wedding ceremonies come to an end in the town of Rada'a, which are similar, and may differ, to the rest of the other districts of Al Baidha Governorate or to areas in other governorates in Yemen.
These prolonged celebration rituals during the period and days of the wedding “marathon” constitute an inevitable distress that many women go through as a result of its requirements and high costs, which some cannot deal with on the one hand, or clashing with the position of condemnation and accusation of negligence of the society that boasts of such expensive and strenuous customs, on the other hand.
In an interview with Khuyut, the fifty-year-old woman (Umm Ahmed) said that on every occasion she may have to sell a piece of her gold (her jewelry) to cover the costs of her daughters’ weddings in cooperation with her husband. Meanwhile, Umm Nassar, confirmed to Khuyut that this hardship of tradition forced her to borrow money from well-off relatives, as her husband died a long time ago and she is trying to cover these costs alone.
In turn, the thirty-year-old citizen Mohammad Abdullah, a resident of Al-Baidha, told “Khuyut” he believes that these occasions involve a lot of cost and hardship that women bear, given what people are forced to do so to keep up with such events, occasions and traditions imposed on many Citizens to bear these costs.
In conclusion, Mohammad Abdullah pointed out that some have the ability to do so, while there are those who are forced by circumstances to sell some of their possessions, and among them are those who cannot find a living and are obligated to strive to reduce the “days of wedding celebrations,” and their daughter, the bride, may leave to her groom without having all of her needs.
Therefore, society must review many of its traditions and customs that exhaust people and cost them more than they can afford.
