Hadeel Khaled, a twenty-seven-year-old woman, has been married for about six years in a traditional marriage. After a period of marriage, Hadeel became pregnant with her first child. She was very happy and over the moon for that. But her joy did not last long, because when her husband learned that the fetus was a girl, he got angry and turned upside down. Then, He could no longer tolerate his wife and began to direct hurtful words at her constantly.
However, he finally concluded that she would continue to bear and give birth repeatedly until she had a son for him. Indeed, the infant has not completed her first year only until her mother was pregnant with the second fetus. That is down to her at her husband’s desire to have a son, or rather, to save her marriage from collapse, hoping that this time her child would be a boy, and then perhaps he would change his harsh dealings with her and her little girl. Nevertheless, our thoughts and hopes were disappointed, the fate willed that the fetus be a female for the second time. Hence, her husband got angry and became upset and depressed as soon as he found out about this, and he became more nervous and moody than before.
Further, Hadeel also became confused, for what she could do as she had no fault of her own. She tried repeatedly to calm her husband and remind him that this is God’s ability and wisdom, but to no avail. Later, It was only a few months after she gave birth to her second daughter until Hadeel became pregnant with her third fetus; this is because her husband prevented her from using any contraceptives until she would give birth to the crown prince, as he said.
For all that, the life is not always fair, and not all the wishes can be fulfilled. Hadeel, who was exhausted by recurrent pregnancy, which took a lot from her health and wellness, is pregnant with a girl for the third time in a row. She could not bear it. So, upon learning of this, she cried, commenting: "I do not object to God's wisdom, and thank God, I am very satisfied and happy with my daughters, but I fear for myself and for them from their father's reaction, as this time he threatens me to marry another woman if I do not give birth to him a son, even if it costs him to sell everything he owns, as he says."
Al-Hamzi warns of recurrent pregnancies that a woman may experience, often against her will, under the pretext of the necessity of having a son, as some of these risks include: uterine explosion or "miscarriage," in addition to uterine rupture, anemia, and other dangers and problems.
Besides, this woman feels sad and oppressed for her two daughters, as their father does not treat them properly or as they should, as the eldest girl has not even reached the age of four. She continues her speech by saying, What is their fault for living with a father who does not show any tenderness toward his family? Even in their sickness, he prays for death and destruction for them and declares that he will not buy toys for them or teach them unless they have a brother, wondering: What father is this? And what would he change if I gave birth to a son? Actually, whoever does not have something cannot give it!, she concluded.
For your information, Hadeel's husband is an educated person who holds a university degree and lives in the capital, Sana'a, which confirms that the hatred of having daughters is not limited to those who have not received or completed their education but also includes many urban and rural residents. On the other hand, Hadeel is not the only one who suffers from this condition, and she certainly will not be the last.
While the sociology experts describe the hatred of having daughters as a social disease that emerges within conservative structures that are controlled by backward customs and traditions. It is also considered a form of violence against women, as many divorce cases occur because of having daughters. In addition to the persecution and injustice that are practiced against them in the family environment. It has even come to the point that some women do not feel their femininity or entity unless they give birth to a male.
Risk of Recurrent Pregnancy
Medical studies confirm that determining the sex of the fetus depends on the sperm produced by the man, and not, as some people think, on the woman, as she is just a receiver, and that the man's sperm carries two types of chromosomes: chromosome (x) and chromosome (y). According to Dr. Hafsa al-Hamzi’s explanation in her interview with "Khuyut ", that the chromosome (x) is for females and the chromosome (y) is for males. So whoever reaches the egg first is the one who determines the sex of the fetus.
Therefore, the woman has absolutely nothing to do with the fetal sex determination, because the egg carries one fixed type of chromosome, which is the chromosome (x). She added that, through her experience in this field, approximately 5% of pregnant women who come to visit her at the center where she works prefer that their husbands do not know the fetal sex of the fetus in the event that the "sonar" device (a medical device for detecting the fetus) shows that she is a girl, for fear of their husbands reactions.
Al-Hamzi warns of recurrent pregnancies that a woman may experience, often against her will, under the pretext of the necessity of having a son, as some of these risks include: uterine explosion or "miscarriage," in addition to uterine rupture, anemia, and other dangers and problems. This requires spacing between pregnancy and childbirth for the health of both the mother and the fetus.
For her part, the psychologist and sociologist, Tahani Saif Al-Dois explains to "Khuyut": "A father who hates his daughters is not a normal human being. Furthermore, the reasons for this hatred are due to masculine thinking under the name of masculinity and also to a lack of assertiveness and self-esteem in a person or a father who thinks that way."
She continues to say that this hatred of the daughter by the father has serious psychological effects on her; the most important of which is that the daughter feels a lack of self-affirmation and self-esteem. This, of course, affects her life, which may cause her deep psychological disorders, and makes her not know what her rights and duties are, which leads, in many cases, to the derogation of her rights in particular and the rights of women in the family in general, So that males or boys abuse girls, and their rights to education and inheritance are taken away, and it may extend to their right to marry.
Likewise, the customs and traditions also often contribute to deepening this phenomenon and confiscating women’s rights. This is exploited by many men, who blame women for giving birth to females, by marrying other women above their wives, despite the fact that medicine has settled this controversy.
The law stands on the side of females in case the father goes too far in his cruelty and threats to her or even towards his wife, as the law protects all categories of society against any abuser of these rights, whether the abuser is a father, brother, or any other relative.
Al-Dois confirms that there are practices that can limit this problem, which depend on the individual's acceptance of changing the erroneous intellectual beliefs. In addition, the individual and society as a whole must raise awareness of the important role of females in society and also reject the unfair customs and false beliefs against girls.
Rights Guaranteed by Law
All laws and legislation—as a means of controlling and regulating social behavior—guarantee women's rights and even regulate the public life in society in the various aspects that some people do not realize or ignore.
The lawyer and legal advisor Omar Tara tells "Khuyut" in this regard that threatening to kill or attacking the safety of the body is considered a crime, as stipulated in the Yemeni Penal Code. The father has no right to use the threat, whether of killing or assault, as a means of punitive dealing with the wife or children. In the event that this happens, the harmed person, whether the wife or children, has the right to file a complaint before the Public Prosecution Office against the father or the threatening person in general.
Likewise, the process of forcing a pregnant woman to have an abortion, because she is pregnant with a female, is not permissible in general, whether the fetus is male or female, and this is what was stipulated in the Penal Code in Articles (239, 240).
The Yemeni law stipulates that: Whoever deliberately aborts a woman without her consent shall be punished with blood money for the fetus by surprise, which is half a tenth of the blood money if her fetus was aborted or died in her womb. If the fetus was separated alive as a result of the miscarriage and died, the perpetrator shall be punished with full blood money, and in either of the aforementioned cases, the offender shall be reprimanded, in addition to the above, with imprisonment for a period not exceeding five years. If the abortion leads to the death of the victim, or if the person who performed the abortion was a doctor or a midwife, the penalty of discipline shall be imprisonment not exceeding ten years.
According to Tara, everyone should know that the woman has rights guaranteed by the law, whether it is an inheritance, a will, or even her right to marry the one she loves. All this is guaranteed by the Personal Status Law in the first chapter of it. So no one has the right to take away any of her rights.
Therefore, the law stands on the side of females in case the father goes too far in his cruelty and threats to her or even towards his wife, as the law protects all categories of society against any abuser of these rights, whether the abuser is a father, brother, or any other relative.
Why do they hate girls?
Some people's view of girls in our current era does not differ from the view of ignorance in the era before the advent of Islam, in that it is a disgrace and must be rid of, and this is of course what the Islamic religion rejected. Likewise, Yusuf al-Rakhmi, a cleric and mufti, confirms this to "Khuyut". By saying: "Hating girls is not permissible, as it is a reprehensible habit, as stated in the Qur’an: { When good news of the birth of a female is given to any of them, his face grows dark, and inwardly he chokes.} This verse indicates the condemnation of their actions and their misjudgment by despising girls and underestimating their status. So such an act should not be done by a human, regardless of his religion".
According to Al-Rakhmi, children in general, both males and females, are a great responsibility for a person—the father—so his failure to fulfill some of the duties that he is obligated to do, comes out of fear for them, and this includes girls and boys, so there is no difference between this and that. As for the one who considers having girls to be a misfortune that requires him to be patient with this ordeal, then this is one of the rejected habits that no Islamic law accepts.
With regard to those who abort the fetus, Al-Rakhmi believes that it is a wrong and generally impermissible act, whether the fetus is a girl or a boy, and whoever aborts the girl, has a greater punishment; the first punishment is for abortion, and the second is for despising daughters. Besides, as previously mentioned, it is an attribute of ignorance of “the people of the Jaahiliyyah”, he thus combines two sins, pointing to the man who marries another woman over his wife, under the pretext that she bears only daughters and does not bear boys, that this is not permissible, because the wife is not guilty and has nothing to do with this matter. Consequently, women must be respected, and their value and status as partners with men should be elevated in all tasks, responsibilities, rights and duties. Similarly, the dealing with her should not be limited only in terms of reproduction, and so the husband does not have the right to treat his wife harshly, hate her, or marry another woman, as this is one of the heinous acts that must be stopped, and also all customs and traditions that have been practiced by some people and which mistreat women, should be discarded and renounced.
