It is commonly known in the business market that there are brokers for leasing apartments and buying and selling houses or lands, and brokers for matching doctors and patients. A long time ago, I wrote an article entitled “Yemeni patients in Egypt and brokers of death,” in which I explained how some Yemeni and Egyptian brokers trade in Yemeni patients.
As for girls' marriage brokers, it has become a widespread phenomenon and a thriving trade that generates income for those who practice it. In the past, this profession used to be limited with the female matchmaker, hence, not in a public or official way, but rather in a friendly way and the matchmaker is usually known to potential couples; the girl’s family and the boy’s family. However, many still refuse the interference of such brokers in marriages, adhering to the wise proverb: “Interfere in a funeral, but do not interfere in a marriage.”
Nevertheless, the problem here is not that when a father seeks in good intention to find convenient husband for his daughter or good wife for his son by seeking the help of some of the friends or relatives he trusts to mediate in such marriages, but rather the problem is when the marriage of girls turns into a popular and profitable business, practiced by specialized brokers in this profession who demand to be paid for it from both parties. The brokers' fees vary depending on the type of bride in terms of age, appearance, financial level of the girl’s family, and their social status. On the other hand, the young man who is about to get married in this way shall share his information with the broker about the social and economic level of his family, his job and its type, whether he resides in Yemen or in a Gulf country, how much dowry he will pay, and whether he owns a house or leasing etc.
Thus, and based on the brokers’ experience with their current and potential clients, each category of these clients has its own conditions, and the groom is often married, divorced, or widowed. Often the girl does not stipulate age, beauty, or morals for the marriage applicant, nor that he be married, single, or divorced. Rather, the broker and the girl’s family focus on the groom's job, social status, and financial level, and whether he will provide the required dowry, the back pay, housing, and a luxurious life for their daughter.
For example, a married man with eight children, living in a Gulf country, and approaching the beginning of his fifties, searched for a wife through a marriage broker, and presented his difficult specifications of his bride to the broker. He wants the bride to be young, between the ages of fourteen and eighteen maximums, and not to have been married before, and she must be extremely beautiful, white-skinned, with long, straight hair, graceful and tall, and she must be calm and obedient, and her education does not exceed High school. In addition, he specified that the bride is shall be fine with wearing the niqab and jilbab, and not watch television, listen to songs, or watch drama series.
Based on these requirements, the broker begins to search for a potential girl who meets the conditions required by the marriage applicant, and when he does not find a girl who meets all of these required specifications, he has no alternative but to play a trick by deceiving the customer that he has found the girl who meets all the conditions he requested, and even exaggerates in describing her virtues, so the customer lives a moment of magical fantasy world, not realizing that he is fooled by a lie. One of the funny things about this matter is that there are many cases where the broker agrees with the girl to filter her photo so that it suits the groom taste, and then the broker sends the enhanced photo to the groom secretly via WhatsApp or Messenger. Once the groom is satisfied with the photo, the broker quickly tickles his feelings and convinces him to swiftly delegate a relative of him to complete the marriage contract procedures remotely. Although he is against sharing girls' photos, but his conscience tells him, "Necessity makes forbidden things permissible."
Then, the husband gets a vacation to prepare for marriage and travels, as soon as he arrives and gets married, the unexpected surprise happens. He finds his wife in reality completely different from the filtered image sent to him!. The deceived husband is shocked and divorces his wife with a significant financial and emotional loss. There is another story about a man who gets married through a friend. The girl's family treats him with kindness and generosity, and they don't exaggerate with the dowry. Although he was surprised, but the matchmaker assures him that the most important thing for them not the money but that he will take care of their daughter and honor her. After marriage, when she becomes pregnant, he discovers that he has been deceived as the wife is suffering from a chronic incurable disease that affects their marital relationship. He feels betrayed, believing that they got rid of their daughter by marrying her to him, and a psychological separation occurs between them so he was forced to divorce her.
Marriage of young girls under coercion often leads to marital betrayals or may drive many of them to engage in counter-violence. Some may even harm themselves or contemplate suicide because they perceive the marriage as rape. They may suffer from psychological conditions that seem incurable, and some might end up being admitted to psychiatric hospitals under the best circumstances.
Thus, matchmakers continue to present clients seeking marriage with false images that are contrary to reality, along with exaggerated descriptions of the girls they recommend. They shuttle them from one house to another and from one region to another. The desired girl may possess most of the desired qualities, but while the father may agree, the mother may reject or express fear, while the uncle or another relative may object, or they may impose impossible conditions on the suitor.
Moreover, it happened in a case that the matchmaker escorted the groom (marriage seeker) to the bride's family home, along with his female relative, so she could see the bride up close, especially since the bride's family refused to provide a photograph of their daughter. When the groom's relative entered, she was surprised to find that the bride was still young, not exceeding fourteen years old. Additionally, she did not wish to marry a married old man and wanted to continue her education. However, her father would force her into marriage despite all of that. So, the groom's relative told her relative that, "This girl is not suitable for you," and she made up an excuse, claiming that the bride had a chronic illness to protect the girl from being harmed.
The strange thing is that many marriage seekers demand that the matchmaker, after the girl's guardian agrees to the marriage, without giving much importance to the girl's opinion in them, about the necessity of the "Shar'i glance" or what is known as the religiously sanctioned view which is a quick glance that is not thoroughly contemplated, as if it is just an external appearance that does not even reach the level of examining a commodity carefully. They rob the under age of her soul and do not inquire about her morals, character, and desires. Most often, these girls become victims of forced marriages by their parents, who may mistakenly believe that they are acting in their daughters' best interests, even if it means marrying them off in an unequal marriage.
Moreover, marriage of young girls under coercion often leads to marital betrayals or may drive many of them to engage in counter-violence. Some may even harm themselves or contemplate suicide because they perceive the marriage as rape. They may suffer from psychological conditions that seem incurable, and some might end up being admitted to psychiatric hospitals under the best circumstances.
Therefore, we should not rely on matchmakers who view their profession as a profitable business, as if they were renting apartments, selling land, or goods. They benefit financially from both parties and do not bear any responsibility for the consequences of deceiving both sides.
According to my experience, one of my relatives requested the hand of a girl who was not yet fourteen for a married man who was financially well-off and significantly older than her by more than twenty years. However, in spite of family's financial situation was extremely difficult as they were displaced and living in a small room and my relative thought that this marriage would bring some good to the family, but the parents rejected the proposal, emphasizing that their daughter was still a child, while the proposer was a married man.
This shows that many parents still possess sufficient awareness and would never sell their daughters despite of their poverty or need. However, the problem lies with matchmakers who employ tricks, lies, and deceive the parents for their own interests.
In conclusion, I believe that there are many victims within young girls who have been forcibly married at early age due to the greed of marriage brokers. Additionally, if investigative inquiries into the issue were conducted, we would discover the magnitude of this tragedy of unfit marriage.
